Jobs won’t solve homelessness. Housing can.
As part of my work with people experiencing homelessness, I frequently speak to groups around Bethesda on the subject. I always ask the same question: “How can we end people’s homelessness?” Read More
I Write for the Man on the Bench
I walked slowly through dark, deserted city streets, peering constantly at my surroundings. Around 1 a.m., I spotted a man I recognized, sitting motionless on a bench at a bus depot, a small valise at his feet. Read More
Homelessness: Making a Memorial Matter
“We need music,” Sue says. “We need something that takes people through their grief, and helps lift them up at the end of the service.” Read More
Not Just Another Staff Meeting: Planning a Memorial (Part 1 of 3)
The email preceded the staff meeting: “Clients are asking whether we’re going to have a memorial for Tony.” A soft-spoken, charismatic man who had lived on our streets, off and on, for 27 years, Bethesda Cares had placed Tony into housing a year and a half ago, after a two-year stretch living at a metro stop. Read More
Homelessness: The Memorial (Part 3 of 3)
You are not alone.”Reverend Chuck Booker’s words cut through the silence in the chapel, through the cold rain clattering on the chapel’s windows, through the heaviness in my heart. Read More
No Rest for the Weary… or for Someone With No Bed
Sometimes my job breaks my heart. Today was one of those days. My desk is in earshot of Bethesda Cares‘ reception desk, in our Drop-In Center for clients suffering homelessness. Read More
“Homeless People Are Lazy”… Uh, No.
A few months ago, someone donated 14 brand new chairs to Bethesda Cares. As the UPS guy ferried box after box into our Drop-In Lobby, I went over to inspect them. Read More
Ending Homelessness: Never Bet Against the House (Part 1 of 2)
Monday afternoon, a slightly disheveled, elderly man approached what will be his new studio apartment, for his first time. His few belongings in his hands, he walked into the space and looked around it, appraising. Read More
Ending Homelessness, Never Bet Against the House (Part 2 of 2)
More than two weeks have passed since the nearly-impossible became the new normal: after years of sometimes frustrating but steadfast outreach, Jasper, a “treatment resistant” US vet who lived on our streets for 45 years, moved into a space of his own.* Read More
“He’s Homeless.” Or, a Rose by Any Other Name Sometimes Isn’t
I’d like to share an excerpt from an email I got from my colleague John, Director of Outreach at Bethesda Cares, and a juggernaut about helping people suffering homeless move toward permanent supportive housing. But before I get to his email, I’d like you to take note of what I just wrote: “people suffering homelessness.” Read More
Donation Dos and Don’ts
You’re heading to the beach tomorrow, for ten days! The dog’s in the kennel, the mail is stopped. Pizza tonight sounds good. Wait, food…forgot to clean out the fridge. You open the door, look in, frown. Seems terrible to throw away perfectly good food. Read More
From Despair to Hope to Dignity
Homelessness strips so much from a person: protection from the elements. The safety of a door that locks. The certainty of a place to which to return each day. A place to put your stuff. The privacy of a bathroom. Access to a kitchen for a glass of water. Read More
Queuing and Q-ing with Dignity
Homelessness strips so much from a person: protection from the elements. The safety of a door that locks. The certainty of a place to which to return each day. A place to put your stuff. The privacy of a bathroom. Access to a kitchen for a glass of water. Read More
Can I Put My Nose in Your Cup?
At Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In center the other day, it was a warm, late afternoon and I was silently musing about the wisdom of an evening cocktail. Apparently the folks in our center were thinking about the same subject, but with a very different twist: Read More
Sometimes Your Clothing’s Disposable Even If You’d Rather Keep It
Last Tuesday the rain in DC was unrelenting. It was the day on which Long Island saw 13 inches of rain; though not as badly off, we were deluged too. Because Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center for the homeless not only provides access to our services but also serves as a respite from the weather, Read More
How Do You Register to Vote If You’re Homeless?
Tuesday was federal, state and local primary-election day in Montgomery County, Maryland. I was planning to hit the polls after work at the school near my home; what I wasn’t expecting was overhearing a number of homeless people at Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center who were planning to vote, too. Read More
From Despair to Hope to Dignity
Homelessness strips so much from a person: protection from the elements. The safety of a door that locks. The certainty of a place to which to return each day. A place to put your stuff. The privacy of a bathroom. Access to a kitchen for a glass of water. Read More
Key to Healthcare? Key to Housing.
Last Friday, the receptionist at a doctor’s office recently called Bethesda Cares and spoke with one of our volunteers: “We have ‘Steve’ with us. He has broken a bone in his foot, and we’d like to discharge him to you. Can you please give me your address?” Read More
What If Your Safety Net Doesn’t Feel Safe?
When surrounded by friends and family on whom one can count for support of every kind, it’s hard to imagine the downward spiral that can land someone on the street. Friends ask me how someone can utterly alienate that support network, and whether it’s always someone suffering from mental illness or fighting an addiction. Unsurprisingly, I have no easy answers. Read More
I Have No Idea Who Is Sitting Next to You, But You Don’t Either
was waiting in a line at a supermarket Tuesday morning when a woman I know only by her first name (Helena) got in line behind me and asked how my job at Bethesda Cares is going. “Great!” I gushed. “It’s been a big few months, a bunch of our guys have gotten housing!” Read More
Sometimes, You Just Gotta Get Away (Even If You’re Homeless)
Earlier this week, a well-kempt silver-haired man in a yellow polo shirt sat at a table in Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center for the homeless. He had a great winter tan, and seemed quite calm. I didn’t know him, but I assumed he was helping our clients in some capacity. At least, that’s what I assumed until his conversation floated my way: “Where’d you get the tan, man?” the guy across from him asked. Read More
Much Ado About Mayo
My daughter’s high school sent out an email a few weeks ago, announcing an upcoming day of service for the students and asking if any parents wanted to get involved. I was pretty fast on the reply button, and agreed to address the crowd this past Saturday, and then supervise the making of dozens of lunch bags for Bethesda Cares‘ clients. Read More
The Moment Lost in a Smile Withheld
You know that horrible, awkward feeling…when you go somewhere, public or private, and feel like you are underdressed, overdressed or just stand out like a sore thumb? Maybe you’ve escaped that particular misery, but I’ve felt it and can assure you it is uncomfortable. The outsider’s perception as to whether … Read More
When a Full Fridge Overwhelms
I haven’t yet been part of an actual moving-in, the moments when someone homeless metamorphasizes back to someone housed. At Bethesda Cares, those days, when our staff fill their own cars with donated household items and coordinate the delivery of yet others, when our Outreach Team helps a client sign a lease and accept a key, are emotionally charged even for those of us on the periphery. Read More
Does This Bus Shelter Make Me Look Fat?
Last week, I overheard a conversation in which an enormous, middle-aged man — not just tall, but carrying enough girth to be easily considered morbidly obese — was talking about weight loss with a few other men. They were sitting around a table at Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center for the homeless. Read More
For Want of a Key, a Life Will Be Squandered
A while ago, two men, both of whom I know currently sleep on our streets, were standing outside Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center. Each stood beside a shopping cart laden with blankets, clothes and bags brimming with who knows what. (The image of a person experiencing homelessness, pushing around a shopping cart is as unhelpful a stereotype as any other, but it is on occasion what I see.) Read More
Jail: Three Hots and a Cot
A few weeks ago, “X,” a client who has lived on the streets for years and is a regular visitor at Bethesda Cares‘ Drop-In Center, did something abhorrent outside our offices. I’ll spare you the details, but it was pretty gross. Sue, our executive director, asked him to rectify the situation. He not only refused to do so, but was rude and abusive to her in return. Read More
Respecting Someone Living Unsheltered
This week at Bethesda Cares’ Drop-In Center for people experiencing homelessness, a lumbering man I’ll call “Ralph” came in to check his mail early one morning; like many clients of no fixed residence, he uses our office address to get correspondence. Our volunteer checked the files; nope, nothing had arrived for him. Read More
Rats Don’t Bite, So Sleep Well?
A conversation I overheard at work a few minutes ago turned my stomach. I was at my desk, at Bethesda Cares’ Drop-In Center for people experiencing homelessness, listening to a conversation between two of our clients. Read More
You’re Kidding. She’s Homeless?
Last Saturday afternoon, I was walking on a crowded sidewalk in downtown Bethesda, Maryland when I spotted a woman I know. She was heading past me, in the opposite direction. She had neatly combed shoulder-length brown hair and wore a navy blue coat and silver-rimmed glasses. She did not pause… Read More
Dangerously Uninformed: Getting News to the Unsheltered
One Thursday last summer, the weather in greater D.C. was typically sunny, hot and humid. The Weather Service, however, had warned all morning about the potential for severe pop-up thunderstorms, micro-bursts and other alarming possibilities that afternoon. Sure enough, around lunchtime… Read More
The Bonds and Bounds of Caring
An Arctic chill hangs over Bethesda, Maryland, as I type this. I’m sitting at my desk at home; the heat is on but I’ve thrown a purple blanket over my lap against the cold. I don’t usually go into our offices on Fridays, but earlier today, a project needing my attention brought me into our homeless Drop-In Center… Read More
Christmas, Without the Cheer
Earlier today, tempers flared at our homeless drop-in center, and not for the first time this week. It was just after 9:30 a.m. when suddenly-raised voices broke the usual morning hum, as one client (“Jasper“) started to shout. “Stop trying to grab my stuff,” he yelled at “Dale,” another client. Dale burst out laughing. “I don’t want your crappy old stuff, Jasper!” I glanced into the room, saw in Jasper’s face his rising rage. Read More
May Memories of Sugarplums Dance In Their Heads
When I was in third grade, I lived in a pretty rural area and I walked to school. The curving road I took seemed endless and dull, so one day I created a shortcut through the orchard of a nearby farm. My path took me uphill, weaving between rows of olive trees and some other trees to which I never put a name. Read More
A Christmas Story Gone Horribly Wrong: Sometimes There Isn’t Even a Manger
This December 9th is the due date of a woman I will probably never meet. She lives (“lives”!? — “exists”) in a tarpaulin-tent in some woods behind a convenience store, in a Maryland town a few miles north of where I sit right now. Few of our clients are expectant women, but it’s not unheard of. Read More
The Saddest List I’ve Ever Seen
Walking past Bethesda Cares’ Drop-In Center’s check-in desk earlier today, I saw a brightly-colored notice seated among the baskets of toiletries and donated Hallowe’en candy. Pausing, I skimmed the new message: it was a sign-up sheet for a “holiday dinner.” I glanced at the list, and felt my heart sink… Read More
When a Front Door Stands Between Life and Death
As I sit down to type this, it’s heading towards nine o’clock on a bitterly cold November night; a sylvan moon is sending silver light slanting through my windows and the silence is absolute. A lamp glows softly on my desk and all seems cozy. A few minutes ago, I ran through my nightly ritual… Read More
All Hail, Supermarket Fundraising Volunteers!
Fundraising behind a table in a supermarket guarantees a wonderful, steady stream of people with whom to talk about your work. If your group is lucky enough to nab such a slot, grab it! But wow, staffing that table can take a thick skin; you’ll face a lot of disinterest. Rationally, I get it… Read More
Homelessness and Angels Unaware
Thursday morning, a volunteer beckoned to me as I walked down the hall at Bethesda Cares. “You’ve got to see this client’s drawings, Amy,” she said. “They’re incredible. And he does them with both hands.“ I looked at the drawings, and totally agreed. They were powerfully-rendered ballpoint… Read More
I Get Mail, Therefore I Am.
A few weeks ago, one of the volunteers who staffs the check-in desk at our Drop-In Center (for people experiencing homelessness), tapped on the doorjamb near my desk. “A guy on the phone — ‘Luis’ — asked if we can send him his mail,” he said. “The guy says it is really important.” Read More
Time, Hope, Homelessness
Have you ever seen the movie, The Shawshank Redemption? Written by Stephen King, it’s the story of the prison yard friendship between a man unjustly sentenced to two life terms in a state penitentiary (Tim Robbins), and a career inmate (Morgan Freeman). What makes the tale so compelling, at least to me, is its exploration of time and hope, and their affects on each other. Read More
How Can You Sleep in a Parking Lot? That’s Not a Rhetorical Question
You are standing alone, under a streetlight at the back of a silent parking lot. You figure the time to be around 4:00 a.m.; you don’t own a watch anymore. You look around, listen in the darkness, in that very particular pre-dawn stillness. Everything seems quiet, so you creep behind a dumpster… Read More
A Home Is Not a Reward
One Wednesday morning not too long ago, “Tony” came into Bethesda Cares’ Drop-In Center for a cup of coffee and maybe some companionship. He was working with our team on the lengthy path to housing and was pretty far down that road, but had hit some … Read More
Money for Manicures But Not for Rent
A recent article in a major newspaper told of a woman’s move from a homeless shelter to her own apartment. In describing her accompanying “transformation,” the article mentioned that the woman “stopped getting manicures.” “Stopped?” thought I. “Ummmm…[socially acceptable version of ‘WTF’]?” Read More
Down and out in Downtown Bethesda: A Morning’s Vignettes
At work, my desk is adjacent to the main room of Bethesda Cares’ Drop-In Center, a place where we offer people experiencing homelessness multiple services, snacks and a respite from life on the streets. From where I sit, I can hear much of the conversations among our clients. Read More
When You Can’t Just ‘Pass Go and Collect $200’: Minimum Wage and Affordable Housing
Some years ago, when my daughter was maybe 8 years old, she took part in a social services workshop at religious school. I was one of the moms lurking in the background while another woman ran the show. Read More
For Want of a Toilet, a Life Will Be Lost
Nowhere to Pee – Did you ever have a moment when something you already understood intellectually suddenly lands on an almost cellular level? Last Thursday, a conversation at work did that, for me. “Robert” who endured chronic homelessness for nearly three years… Read More
Please Keep Your Bellbottoms: What Not to Give
Please Do Keep Giving Your Stuff…The school bus is minutes away, and my child turns to me in a mild panic. “The canned food drive, Mom! I need to bring some stuff!” I dash to the pantry, supermarket bag in hand, tossing in cans — beans, a tin of tuna, wait… Read More
How — Not Whether — to Help a Panhandler
Handling Panhandling…I used to hate walking past panhandlers. When I saw someone on the street asking for money, I felt awkward, overly-privileged, sympathetic, suspicious and altruistic; sometimes sequentially, sometimes kind of all at once… Read More
Punked
Walking back to work after lunch yesterday, I came upon an unkempt man lying on the pavement by my office door. Let’s call him “Jasper.” … Read More